Thursday, January 17, 2013

The three gifts of my child...

Brady brought with him lots of gifts and he himself is the greatest of those, but there are three in particular that I really love and have made my life better.

No regrets

His presence and his personality negate regret. It's human nature to wonder "what if." What if I had done this or that in my life. What if I'd married this person or hadn't gotten divorced or had decided to have more kids.

I don't make it 10 seconds before it occurs to me that to do anything different, one little teeny tiny thing, would mean either Brady wouldn't be here or he'd be different somehow. The thought of never having had him is absolutely unbearable. And to have him be someone other than he is is equally unbearable. So, therefore, I could not change a thing.

Doing better 

He makes me want to be a better person. Before my husband and I got back together, I attempted online dating. Oh boy was that awful. During a break-up with a gentleman I had been seeing, I felt a temptation I hadn't felt in a decade. The temptation to buy cigarettes.

How can the urge be so powerful so many years later? A single thought, however, kept me from doing so. Brady. I would not, could not, ever have him associate me with cigarettes. I do not want him to ever think I think it's okay. The urge passed immediately.

He makes me want to be the best I can be. To pray more. To have Grace. To let go of my needs and consider his. I want to be an example he can look up to. What a joy.

Using my brain

Oh boy! That kid has made me use my brain more than I think I ever have my entire life. Part of it is how smart he is, as well as his strong will and determination. The questions he asks send me to the computer to find the answer or make me pause and give them serious thought. 

The other part is simply that typical, traditional things don't work with him. I have to read and research and try new things all the time. He's better than any crossword puzzle, I'll tell you that!

Thank you God for these wonderful gifts and this wonderful boy.

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