Monday, May 6, 2013

Grace under pressure, it is so hard

I'm not writing this because I had grace under pressure. I'm writing it because I didn't.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. Two weeks of trouble at school and after-school - phone calls, emails, notes in the behavior notebook, a day's suspension from the bus, a day's suspension from after-school care and a near-miss with the school program. There have been some very frustrating incidents. I don't know if it's the weather, the end of school or what. As I always say, the hardest thing I have ever found about being a parent is trying to motivate another human being when you are not with them.

When there's trouble out in the world, it's up to me to find something that will work, that will change the direction of things.

On top of that, I've had some health issues that have left me a little tired and not feeling well (I'm okay though). We had our last soccer game. Someone backed into my car and I've been dealing with that. The church sale - and baking for it and volunteering during it - was yesterday. The invention party was today and the last week has been spent planning for it.

That's how life is though, isn't it? You don't get to plan when troubles happen. 

So in the midst of all of this, I have lost patience with Brady. I have thought, why do things have to be so difficult? I don't want to handle this. I don't know how to handle this. I have cried and told God maybe he got the wrong person.

But worst of all, I haven't shown the grace I should have. There are times to be strict for sure, but add in a very busy schedule and health issues and it becomes much more difficult to remain graceful. Sometimes I fail. But with God's strength and His unlimited grace behind me - only when I give myself over to it - I get up and start again.

On Saturday morning I started "Brady's good behavior notebook" to document his good choices. Then we could both see my tangible recognition of the times he tries and succeeds, of the times things go right.

Our time at the church sale today was a joy and a blessing. We had so much fun. He was so well-behaved and it felt like old times, times before the last two weeks when it got difficult again. I can only pray that when things get tough, I find God's grace again and it fills me up. Here's some pictures of the day. Me with him (it was 45 degrees and windy! Brrrr!), him kicking back on the hay ride and sharing a hot dog and Vreader with a buddy.



  1. Oh how I am feeling the same way today. We had a great few days in a row all to come crushing down. I often think too if I was meant for this.

    I LOVE the idea of a "good behavior notebook" On rough days it is hard to see the good things that actually happen and this would be a wonderful tool to use when I am doubting myself. Thanks for the idea!!!

    1. Oh my word, yes, it is hard to see it on those days. That's mainly why I thought I should do it, because it all seemed to be so bad to me. But I knew there was good in there, I just had to make myself SEE it.


I truly enjoy your comments and love to interact. Be sure to check the "notify me" box below to see new comments and replies to your comment! Thank you!

Blog Archive

Popular Posts