I have a saying about Brady: "If you give him an inch, he'll take 65 miles and you'll find him 2 counties over getting into trouble."
It's true! That kid is sooooo smart and such an opportunist and he adapts so quickly and is such a good debater, he will see what he can get me to do and then he will take a little tiny give on my part and run with it. One small give-in and I'm facing weeks of him asking for the same thing - and more! - over and over. But you did it that time, Mommy. How is this different, Mommy? Why, why, why, Mommy?
Ugh. I love that kid more than life, but my goodness I have to be careful what I let him get away with and what I do for him.
In the last year at school, he's asked me several times to try and handle problems for him, to "talk" to the people involved to make them stop what they're doing. As I said in the post earlier today, we cannot make people do what we want them to do. He can't and I can't. And unless I think the situation has really truly gotten to the point I need to take action, I will not get involved and will not fight his battles.
I believe deep in my heart that if I did that, I'd be robbing him of a valuable life skill: handling your own problems. Taking responsibility for your part in something, learning to adapt to different situations, learning to handle different personalities, changing yourself for the better to counteract someone else.
As always, this does not mean if I felt he was being abused, bullied, treated unfairly, exploited, shamed, or any other damaging thing, I would not put a stop to it.
In one case, an older girl called him a name and messed with his backpack.
I told him to 1) ignore her, remind himself over and over and over to ignore her. If he isn't providing entertainment, she'll get bored and stop, 2) he was right to tell the bus driver when it involved his backpack, continue to do so, 3) don't allow himself to let her upset him. She cannot jump into his head and make him think, do or say anything. He's in control of himself and whether someone upsets him.
He solved his problem, he ignored her, and now it's done.
I feel like a coach, giving him pep talks, giving him ideas on how to handle things that come up in life. Isn't that what parenting is at its core? And he takes what I say to heart and gains confidence in handling things on his own.
These are priceless lessons that I would not be teaching him if I rushed in to save the day. And with Brady, once he learns something, it is ingrained in him. I also feel like this approach communicates to him that I have faith in his abilities to handle his own problems and be independent. And my faith was founded. I'm so proud of him :) Thank you, God.
- ► 2017 (53)
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- My $4 Mudd boots from Salvation Army store
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- Deals at Aldi and Dillons, through April 2
- 3 free snailmail Sunmaid raisin recipe books
- 6 reasons collecting is a good kid hobby
- When the problem is behavior, not learning
- ADHD: teacher's attitude makes all the difference
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- Free stuff from Smiley360, Campbells new soups
- The same boots, 2 Goodwills, 10 years apart
- You know you're in a small town...homemade cookies...
- Finding contentment in what we have...
- God's my King of Rock 'n' roll, 47 songs
- Anxiety buster: Eat more almonds!
- Cool American environmentalist folk art
- This weeks Aldi and Dillons deals....
- Getting your way may not be best
- Day 44 Getting Off Paxil: All done
- Try Something New Thursday: Almonds!
- 1st grade homework help: Spelling, reading, writin...
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- A cool Memphis/Southern/American experience
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- You know you're in a small town when... lost dog
- When to act and when to sit back?
- Dillons and Aldi deals (March 13 - 19)
- Follow your dreams, find your niche
- Pandora: Free music website
- Finding faith is like falling in love
- Behavior booster: Finding common ground
- Good behavior: practice makes...a lot better!
- Weight loss tip: Grocery store salad bar
- Improving spelling ... teacher's advice worked!
- "Love chemicals" wear off after 12 to 18 months
- Music releases feel-good brain chemicals
- Funny things Brady says ... about dreams...
- 80 easy, frugal, healthy packed lunch ideas
- Behavior booster: teaching "inside voice"
- Positive self-talk & 2 sermons that changed my lif...
- Try Something New Thursday: Hummus
- The power of rewarding a kid...
- A good laugh about my patio garden pots...
- Behavior booster: Work as a team
- Diverse friends keep us from judging
- God bless understanding teachers
- Almost time for the garden!
- Teachable moments: the new kid at school
- This week's deals at Dillons
- Ask yourself, "What can I do for them?"
- Change your hair, change your outlook
- Funny things Brady says... about commercials...
- Sweet things Brady says... about being a parent......
- I love Little Critter books!
- Divorce Care support group: A wonderful resource
- Coaching kids to fight their own battles
- A powerful idea: You can't change others
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- Food allergies: 7 alternatives to coloring eggs
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- ▼ March (68)
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