Awhile back, I read this post on 3 question to ask when your child misbehaves from Jenni & Jody's blog and have been using it with Brady. It is working so great I had to share!
The best part is not leaving room open for "why" they did what they did. I have been asking that and, yes, they are right, the child immediately gives excuses. Asking "what did you do that was wrong" instead of "why did you do that" has made a big difference.
And making it a given that there was a different choice to be made is great too.
Check out the post and see if it might work for your kids too!
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Thanks for sharing. I've always asked why but may now have to rethink that. It might just be what I need because they always have the perfect excuse. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, it's hard for me to remember not to ask 'why'. It's such a reaction, "Why'd you do that?" But it makes a lot of sense. There is no 'why' that would suffice. The more important 'why' is why was it wrong? And coming up with an alternate response is also helpful.
DeleteI find myself asking Jasmyn all the time What she did wrong. And of course the answer is always "I dont know" but I end up telling her and we go through the what could you have done better question and its a long process and she is still resistant on giving the answers that I am looking for but we are working on it. I was happy to hear that this is also the same method that her 2nd grade teacher used this past year. I am hoping the 3rd grade teacher will also continue this.
ReplyDeleteI have to fight myself not to say "why." But it makes sense, there is no answer that is correct as to "why" but to understand what was wrong about it.
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