Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Having grace when your feelings are hurt

Our sermon in church Sunday was on the Grace of God. The basic idea was that His Grace saves us from doubting who we are, from the death of our soul in sin and from the desperation of trying to make up for our mistakes.

We are forgiven.

I want so much to try and reflect this grace as much as I possibly can in my life. Boy oh boy, that's hard when you get your feelings hurt.

From experience, I have a few ideas on how to keep grace when you're angry or hurt.

First and foremost, pray

Prayer not only opens a conduit to God, but it also helps you focus your thoughts. Most of the time I shy away from praying for very specific things (not always, of course), but will instead pray for faith, understanding, grace, strength and wisdom, and for God to help me get through the rough times.

When you're hurt, pray every time you think of the problem and then pray some more. And then pray for whoever did the hurting. Eventually you will find a way to handle it. 

Know you can only change you

As I always try to teach Brady, you cannot control other people. God doesn't even control them. That's the point of free will.

But you can control yourself. You can control the things you say and do, how you respond to a situation, how you let yourself feel, and how much power something has over you.

Turn it into a positive

I think one of the most amazing gifts we can have in this life is the ability to turn a negative into a positive. To find motivation in hard lessons. If you can somehow find a kernel of guidance in an unpleasant situation, grab onto that and let it fuel where you go and what you do next.

Fill up with good things

When times are tough, it is the absolute perfect time to practice gratitude. Thank God for the things you are blessed with: your family and friends, a home, a job, health, safety, your church, food on the table, the talents and skills you possess, anything and everything. Focus on those things.

And also fill up with words of positive people. Don't keep what you're feeling inside. Talk to the people you trust. Get advice. Go to church. Talk to your pastor. Read the Bible.

Learn from experience

I think all negative things in life can be turned to good. We can let them inform our own future behavior and they can bring us closer to God. Filter all things in life through Him and you will see them in an entirely different light.

In the end, letting go of hurt is the best thing you can do. Holding on to hurt will only affect you and will separate you from God and from making the most of your life. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. I hope to be forgiven when I mess up.

Forgiveness is hard, but it is so worth it. This doesn't mean you forget or allow something toxic into your life, but you can let go in your heart of whatever the person has done and allow yourself to heal.


  1. It's a hard lesson, learning you can't control other people or what they do to you!

  2. It is really hard to be nice and do what you know is right when someone else is pushing you so far.

    1. Oh my goodness, yes! I have to fight not to think really angry thoughts or say angry things, and sometimes I do, of course, but then try and work through them and turn them around.

  3. I tried teaching my son to be nice to people when they're mean to him and he turned and told me "the bible says an eye for an eye". It is rather difficult to turn the other cheek and when your feelings are hurt you tend to lash out. Those are some great ideas that you've put down on print.

    1. You know, I think about that phrase as well. And Brady thinks "the golden rule" means do to other people what they do to you, LOL. Not exactly! Maybe an eye for an eye means if you do something, you can expect it to be done in return, not necessarily that you should do what was done to you. But I don't know. Smart kiddo you've got there!

  4. I try to remember the grace God has & continues to show me. Of course I find that it's easier with some people than others. That's not right I know.

    1. Yes, Cindy, that's it! I try so hard to remember that, but of course when you're hurt it is so easy to go immediately to the base human emotions. Sigh. I don't like living in that place at all and hope in time I can learn to handle those situations more quickly.

  5. It's so easy to be negative sometimes--and talk about others negatively. I had a friend who lived by me last year (a missionary) who would walk with me, and she asked me if we could keep each other accountable in only speaking uplifting speech together. We still talked about hard things going on, but not in a tearing down or discouraging way.

    1. What a wonderful friendship! It is so great to have an accountability partner in something like that. Life is hard, but if you aim for uplifting, it will uplift you as well.

  6. It can be so hard to have grace for others when they hurt us. I try to remember that they are just like me, imperfect, but God loves them. If he loves them, I should too.

    1. You know, that's the most important thing I can remember, I'm imperfect, we all are, so I should be understanding. Forgiveness is a tough thing sometimes, but I want it for myself when I mess up too.

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