Back to cooking and don't waste potato skins!

Life has finally slowed down and I'm able to spend some time on weekends cooking again. Soccer is over. The church sale is done. Mother's Day has come and gone. School is winding down.

It was very gratifying this weekend to see a spent bacon tray, a crock-pot cooking "re-fried" pinto beans and potatoes boiling for shepherd's pie all on the stove at the same time.

In the midst of this, I made a very exciting nutritional and frugal discovery!

I was peeling potatoes and typically I just cut the peels into the trash. But this time I cut them onto a plate. When I was done I had such a heap of potato

skins I couldn't bear to waste them and throw them away!

I'd never looked at potato skins that way. So I sprayed them with olive oil cooking spray, seasoned them with Head Country and baked at 350 for 20 or so minutes, or as long as it took for them to get golden brown and crunchy. Oh my goodness they tasted good!

Only in a small town... wrong number on Mom's Day...

So I was outside getting the garden ready tonight and Jase calls me to the house. "You have a phone call."

He tells me who it is and I recognize the guy's name (someone Jase knows), but I don't know him so I'm trying to place why he might be calling me. Is he involved in our church? Could it have something to do with Brady? Is there some town event going on?

I answer the phone and he says, "Happy Mother's Day!"

"Oh, thank you," I said and paused, waiting to see what his reason for calling was. He's an older gentleman. I don't know him at all, have never met him. I'm not sure what to say at this point.

"Did you have a good day?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say, still wondering what he's leading up to, thinking he's just making polite chit chat first. "We went out to eat."

"Did you go to Mary's," he asks.

I'm thinking Mary's is a restaurant so I say, "No, we went to Sirloin Stockade and met my mom there."

He pauses now. "Did you see GB?"

"GB?" I say. "I don't know who that is."

He laughs. "Who's this?"

"Stephanie Young," I say.

He laughs again. "This isn't (so and so)?"

I laugh now. "Nooooo."

"Now how did I do that," he says.

"Well," I said. "Probably mixed up a couple of numbers, but thank you for the Mother's Day wish."

"You're welcome. I'm really glad I called then."

So I asked hubby, "Why did you think he was calling for me?"

"Well, when I answered he said, 'Can I speak to your lovely wife?' and I wondered how you knew him."

10 things about my Mom & being a Mom

Here's the 3 generations!

Here are 10 things I love about my Mom and then 10 things I love about being a Mom:

10 Things I Love About My Mom ...

1) I'm 41 years old and when I get a hole or tear in clothes or need a patch, I still give it to her and she fixes it for me.

2) She has helped me parent over the years. A few weeks back in church, Brady was sitting between us and needed help with something and we both reached at the same time. I thought to myself, "Wow, this is inter-generational teaching." He learns from her and it is beautiful.

3) Again, I'm 41, and every time she stays with me she does my dishes.

4) I call her every day, about everything, and she does the same with me.

5) I told her long ago in a card, I didn't choose you as my Mother, but I choose you as my best friend. It is still true, though I'd choose her as my Mother a hundred times over if I was given the choice.

6) She often berates her cooking, but I truly cannot think of one time she made something I didn't like. Not once. She is a very good cook and her food comforts me.

7) She has a strong will and a soft heart. What a beautiful mixture.

8) My favorite thing she taught me was to love nature.

9) She has really good ideas, about parenting, about marriage, about cooking, about life.

10) The one thing I have always been certain of my entire life, no matter what was going on, no matter what I did or didn't do, no matter how I was feeling, was that I was loved by my mother. I hope so much to pass that on to Brady because that assurance is the most powerful thing a person can have (outside of the same knowledge of God), that this one person's love will never ever leave you or tarnish or fade. Thank you, Mom.

10 Things I Love About Being a Mother ...

1) Once I had Brady, for the first time in my life another person's needs were more immediate, more pressing, more important than mine, and not just for a few days or a week, but forever. That was liberating in a way I never would have imagined.

2) I have someone special I spend most of my time with and I love it.

3) I love knowing another human being so well, beyond what you normally know of someone.

4) There are things I've learned from Brady I never would have known if I had not become his mother.

5) I have to work always at being a better person for him.

6) I have such wonderful conversations with my boy. They are fun and interesting and surprising.

7) I have NO idea what I did with my time pre-Brady. I am never ever ever ever bored.

8) He depends on me, trusts me and he believes me completely. Wow. That is amazing.

9) I look in his eyes and see mine. I hear his voice say the very things I have said to him. I watch him in nature and in prayer and I see a reflection of me there. He is unique, a total individual as anyone who has spent any time with him will tell you, but there's a piece of me there too.

10) Every morning we sit on the couch and I put peanut butter on his banana. Every night I read him stories. We have done these two rituals for - literally - more than five years, every single day. This little human being and I are wrapped up in the rhythm of each other's lives. That is one of the most comforting things I know.

Parenting: We're in the planting phase

Is parenting like growing a garden? Gosh, I hadn't thought of it that way before, but then I read this post at the Nursery of the Nation, and this quote in particular: "You are in the planting phase of motherhood and that requires a lot of weeding."

It makes sense.

I'm a writer, so I love metaphors. This one is particularly good. Gardening is slow and steady work. It takes time and determination. It is physically intense and messy at times.

Till the ground. Plan it out. Make mounds and troughs and rows. Plant the seeds. Water, fertilize, weed, keep prowling bugs and animals away. Lots of waiting and nurturing, working hard day after day after day. And eventually comes the produce. Such joy in that.

The way in which you tend the garden affects the yield of it. You must be diligent and careful.

Parenting -  especially a unique child with challenges like ADHD or anxiety or others - is also slow and steady work. Keep the foundation (which is you, the parent) as well tilled, watered and fertilized as possible. Keep your own self in good standing in all that you do, say and model for them, and keep yourself healthy.

Plant the seeds of what you hope they learn. Love, kindness, patience, compassion, gentleness, faith, honesty, respect, generosity, generousness, persistence, gratitude, graciousness.

Protect them as much as you can from the things in the world that would hurt them. Nurture and teach, then sit back and wait and see what they do with it. If a weed pops up - anger, a lie, a bad word, unhealthy habits, disobedience, defiance - do your best to get it out. And this doesn't just mean the weeds in your child's behavior, it means weeds in your own behavior too.

For this garden is the combination of child and parent. Remember, the parent is the foundation, as well as the water, food and light, and the child is the new seedling. The seedling depends on the soil to nourish it and on the sunlight to guide its direction. And it needs space in which to grow.

We hope and pray these seedlings take hold and grow bigger and stronger and straighter every day until one day they are drooping with fruit and ready to plant seeds of their own :) And I firmly believe this process is aided infinitely by the addition of a solid spiritual faith. That is the richest soil of all.

Parenting is the most difficult and rewarding work we will ever do. And it is work toward something amazing, fruit that will nourish the body of the world someday. I have to fight to keep that goal, that end game, in mind every day as we navigate the weeds, the bugs, the dry spells and the cloudy days. Because already my little seedling is growing strong and beautiful, and we both have a lot of work yet to do.

In pursuit of faith: the scenic route

My mom tells me she can't believe I pray all the time. That didn't used to be me. It's been quite a journey and she was in the passenger seat with me as I tried to work it all out.

My pursuit of faith was mostly done as an intellectual exercise. I like doing things that way. My two main careers - before my job now as IT person for our small business - were journalism and science. In both of these fields the main goal is to uncover the truth through research.

I wanted to apply that to faith also.

Now some people are saved or become Christians early in life. They just know. I'm so amazed by this. My path was winding, bumpy, fraught with doubt and questions, and spanned decades.

My spiritual beginnings are rooted in Catholicism. My mom's mom died when she was young, but she left behind a strong faith in the Catholic church. My mom feels a connection to her mom within Catholicism and we were raised in that church. When I started working as a teen I stopped going.

After that, the first time I felt a stirring of desire to find faith was at age 21 (in 1993), after being the victim of a horrible crime in Mexico. As I heard someone saying the Lord's Prayer - and realized it was me - I knew I believed in something more. But what?

That stuck in the back of my mind, but I didn't act on it other than acknowledgement. The next time I pursued faith was about 5 years later (1998) when I was the religion reporter for the St. George Spectrum in Utah. I spent time interviewing people of all faiths, including Christian Science and Baha'i, as well as sat audience to Mormon missionaries.

I also had a very good friend who was Wiccan. This was a fascinating time. I had not known so many different religions existed. I learned a great deal and thought a great deal more. But I still had no determination of my own faith. I was looking for something that "made sense to me."

I went to a Catholic Cathedral in Salt Lake City, Utah, in 1999. Then I didn't go to any church for many, many years.

After experiencing postpartum depression in 2005, that desire for faith began pushing into my conscious mind more and more. Something was missing. I felt lost.

Again, I tried on church hats. I took a months-long study course on the Baha'i faith and met some truly amazing people in the process. I went to a Unitarian Universalist church, a southern Baptist church and a Methodist church, which led me to yet another Methodist church in Florida, and, in the despair of divorce and a child with struggles, I found God. Or He found me.

And, you know what, it was not an intellectual exercise. It wasn't something that "made sense to me." It was not the culmination of research and study and understanding. It was a singular moment when I didn't want to be alone anymore. The release of a weight I had no idea I'd been carrying. The heavy weight of loneliness.

And not the loneliness that comes with being single. The loneliness of having to go through life alone. All alone, in every moment. With God, I am never alone. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever thought about. And no amount of searching, no amount of studying, could ever teach me the thing I knew in that one, clear moment.

I wished I could have lived my whole life with that knowledge.

But that one moment has led to a lifetime of trying to grow spiritually and changing the way I live. To understand what it means to live as a Christian. Wow! What an adventure! 

The Invention Party was a success!

On Dec. 6, 2012, I posted about Brady coming home with a big idea for an invention party and how he and two friends at after-school had made and given out a dozen invitations for THE NEXT NIGHT! I had to make sure everyone knew it wasn't going to happen then. I mean it was winter and a school night. There was no way!

He was crushed. He told me, "It was all for nothing!" with his head buried in his hands. So, we decided to plan it for the spring. I want him to know his ideas are important and not only that, that if he can think it up, there's a way to do it (and hopefully by doing this, he'll keep thinking up positive things with that creative brain and not destructive things! Ha!)

Over a couple of different weekends, we planned out the games - football, soccer, Frisbee, jump rope, baseball, tag, playing in the stick house, bubbles and of course, inventing. We planned the snacks - trail mix with pretzels, peanuts, raisins and M&Ms, cheese sticks and juice boxes. We decided who to invite. We planned the invitations. We picked a date.

We talked and talked about it, and it became such an exciting thing. A bonding thing. An adventure like we like to do.

Then this past Sunday - May 5, 2013 - exactly five months later, we had the party. And it was a total blast. About 10 kids showed, not too many, not too few, and at least as many adults - including his wonderful teacher (who only lives half a mile away!). In addition to all the recycled items in our invention box, Brady's uncle brought a box load of stuff from Michaels.

For the first 20 minutes, the kids all ran around and flung, tossed or kicked any projectile toy they could find, and then they wandered one by one to the invention area. I wasn't sure any of them would invent, but they did! They loved it!

They got to sit on tarps and make whatever came to their minds with glue, tape, paint and boxes full of stuff. No restrictions, no worries. Some made things like pirate ships, magic wands and a "coconut launcher," one of my favorites, while others made simple items like facial hair out of foam - eye brows, goatees and beards - which they duct-taped to their faces! Ha!

 We had beautiful weather and enjoyed just celebrating for the sake of celebrating with friends.

I asked Brady afterwards, "How does it feel to see your idea come to life." He smiled and said, "So awesome." I think so too. And he wants to make it an annual event.

Here are some pictures of the day.

-- The guys had to get balls and Frisbees out of trees about 392 times during the day. 

-- Eating snacks in the stick house on "plates" they invented from squares of foam. I love it!

 

-- A friend's (also after-school teacher and mom of a kid in Brady's class) older child displaying the hit of the day - foam goatees (and mustaches) and eyebrows attached with duct tape! Brilliant! 

-- The invention area and all the kids rummaging through the boxes (Brady's wonderful teacher is in the background of the first one).

 

  

Only in a small town... forgotten flower...

It's teacher appreciation week and on Tuesday all kids were to bring a flower for their teacher. I gave Brady's to him in a grocery bag with instructions to take super good care of it.

An hour or so later I get a Facebook message from one of his after-school teachers who also has a child in Brady's class. "He forgot his flower on the bus," she said. "I kept him from getting upset by telling him I'd tell you."

"Oh no," I said. "Can you tell him I have more at home and he can take it tomorrow?"

She was already gone from school, so she texted another after-school teacher who also has a child in Brady's class and had gone along on their zoo field trip that day.

I saw her after school and she told me she had told him and he felt good about it. How cool is that? Such nice ladies. It's nice that we are all able to communicate so well.

The next day Brady took his flower, but it broke on the way :( But he said his teacher loved it and put the broken flower in the vase, where it settled to the bottom and you can still see it down there. Leave it to my unique boy to have his flower a day late and sitting at the bottom of the vase. Things just go differently for him, but I'll bet everyone in class knows which flower was his :)

Weight loss: slow and steady work

A few weeks ago I started using 15 tips and tricks to lose about 10 pounds.

These were things I'd done before or read about somewhere. Easy, every day stuff that require no money, no outside help other than the free Spark People web site. 

And so far, in less than a month I've lost about 3 pounds. Another thing I did that I think is important is I got a digital scale so I could see 1/2 pound increments and feel as though I was making progress. It fluctuates a little daily, and I try not to worry about that, because I can see the overall downward trend. It keeps me on track.

Losing weight is slow and steady work. It's not fast, it's not overnight, it cannot be done in bursts. It is choice after choice after choice, day after day after day. Continuous, consistent work. Gosh, I guess it applies to parenting as well, LOL!

The other thing I notice is Brady noticing what I do. He sees me make these healthy choices and he very rarely asks for treats outside of dessert after dinner. I guess he just accepts that is what we do.

And when I have to drive to pick him up after school, he has such disappointment in his voice when he says, "Awww, you drove?" He would much rather us walk home. How awesome is that?

So, today, tomorrow, next week, I will keep on my slow, steady pace and try to reach my goal.

Yes ma'am, yes sir: good for all of us

I don't know how long it will work, but for now teaching Brady to say "Yes, ma'am" is really helpful for us. As soon as Brady says it, his behavior changes and he complies with whatever he's being asked to do without complaint or fit, or he stops doing whatever he's been asked to stop.

It seems to operate like a "code word" for him, at least at home, though I do think it has helped at school and after-school too. In fact I came up one day to after-school, a teacher told him something and clear as day he said, "Yes ma'am," and did it.

But what has amazed me the most is the feeling him saying "Yes, ma'am" creates in me. I fill up with a warmth at the sound of his respect and control, and it immediately deflates any frustration if he had been balking at doing something. And I kept telling him this. "Brady, it really makes me feel good to hear you say 'Yes, ma'am,'" to the point he finally told me in a very nice, soft, polite voice, "Mommy, I'm not trying to be rude but it's getting kind of annoying when you say that."

LOL! Okay, kid, I hear ya. Mom's gone on too long about it.

Now, I do have to remind him a lot. But when I do, he seems to embrace it.

I think he feels good when he says it too. It is such a gesture of respect and I'm grateful for his teacher for thinking of it.

Free Junie B. Jones book!

Brady loves these books. I've never actually seen one, but he reads them at school. Via Money Saving Mom, I learned you can get a free book by joining their book club:

www.JunieBKidsClub.com