Changing words, deeds, thoughts every day

Whew, this is a hard one. I realized the other day I spend a great deal of time trying to redirect my thoughts, my words and my actions.

I guess it's human nature to complain, feel sorry for ourselves, be negative instead of positive, get stuck in the problems. Or maybe that's just my nature, LOL!

But lately I've been trying harder to keep a reign on those tendencies. To turn every worry into prayer. Every negative thought into a positive spin.

Things like when my husband asked me to buy an accordion file for the office and the one I found was different than the one he had (which was falling apart), my first thought was: "He won't like it. He never likes what I get. I'll tell him, 'I knew you wouldn't like it.' " But I quickly lassoed the thought into, "If it's not what he needs, I'll just exchange it. I want him to have what he really likes."

Or when Brady was making a dam for a trickle of water using his foot and I started fussing, I pulled myself back and thought, Wait, why am I against this? And I found out there was no good reason.

Or when I'm tired, don't feel well, am frazzled or dealing with a rough day Brady's had, I have to pull myself out of the moment and say, "Hey, I'm lucky in so many ways. If there's a problem, I need to fix it and be in the solution. If not, I'll quit complaining and wallowing and move on."

This is not an easy thing. I didn't have to do this so much when I was on Paxil. Now that I'm completely free of it, I see life as it is and it is messy. But it's mostly good. And when it's not, I can get through it.

If you find yourself sliding toward negative thoughts, self-pity, woe-is-me, grouchiness at others, complaints or anything like that, corral it before it takes over. Turn it around. With effort, a person can change the way they think, feel, act and speak. I am proof of that.

It's not easy, but it's worth it and I'm finding life is so much better when I do that.