What I love about a Christian life

Back when I was trying to figure out my faith and who I was, I used to wonder, "What if I get it wrong?" What if I believe in something that's not real? This idea used to bother me. But it doesn't anymore.

I believe in the Bible and the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe it's real, deep down in my heart I do. I believe.

But, if it somehow turned out to all be a delusion and there's nothing beyond this life, well, that doesn't really matter and here's why.

My belief brings along with it a certainty in something better, something good that lives in all of us. I believe it's the Holy Spirit. It exists. I've seen it. People rise above human instinct and do better. They just have to seek it and engage it.

It's also a surety in something greater than our day to day pain, hurt, confusion and human frailty. We are all bound together in this life. We have an obligation to care for one another, to try and lift each other up to something more, something stronger.

This life I try to live forces me to consider each action, each word I say. I'm held accountable every day. Sometimes I do things I regret and I look to the model of compassion - Jesus - and his kindness toward the downtrodden and cast out. Nothing I do goes unexamined. Sometimes I get it wrong, but there is always a drive to do better next time.

Everything is connected. We are not isolated. There is something to be learned from everything. I try my best to stay humble and grateful.

And in the Christian community I see such a love of other people - whether Christian or not. A deep conviction that helping people - all people - who are hungry, homeless, lost, lonely, depressed, poor, confused, angry, in despair, is the right thing to do. The only thing to do. A conviction that there is no one who deserves to be given up on or pushed aside.

The more I am in that community, the more right it feels. I find I seek it out in all areas of life. I like to read spiritual things and the Bible. I much prefer the music on KLove to that on any other station. It is uplifting, helps keep me focused during my day and it touches on the better side of the human condition, the side that gets up and keeps going,  helps neighbors and strangers alike, prays and loves and gives. It is not so focused on self and gratification, but on something outside the self.

This is the best legacy I can think of to leave on this Earth. A life lived in this way and a belief in God and what He has set before us.  

I have lived the isolated, inward-turned life and I don't like it. Now I live by faith and it feels so right, it can never actually be wrong. So to my old self, I say, don't worry, it doesn't matter. I'm not wrong, but even if it turns out I am, this is the way I want to live.