Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Teaching kindness from the ground up, literally

Today I want to share a different kind of idea. I believe kindness can be taught by showing an appreciation toward insects.

Yes, through bugs! My theory is if you can teach kindness, gentleness, empathy, caring and compassion to the tiniest, most seemingly insignificant creatures, how much easier is it to transfer up to humans?

You may have seen this story. It happened here in Kansas and it breaks my heart. In a nut shell, three men robbed a woman as she was dying in her car at a drive through. It makes me wonder what is wrong with our world.

I feel like there's a callousness that wasn't there before or at least wasn't as bad. And it's not all as extreme and obvious as the example above. I see it in the Walmart. I see it when I'm driving. I see it at sports events.

And I know being kind to little old bugs is too simple to tackle the problem, but I have seen it soften Brady's heart and I think it would do the same for other kids too.

Our rule is simple: If we're not going to eat it and it is not harmful or threatening to us, then we leave it alone.

They're God's creatures too, after all, made for a specific role and purpose, important in their own way. In Genesis, it says: "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

I think that charge comes with responsibility, lots of it.

Instead of fearing them, killing them or considering them useless, we watch them, learn from them, even save them if we find them in our house. Again, if it's a roach, a brown recluse, a wasp, we will not save it. But any other spider or insect, we catch and release.

I have seen Brady  use the kindest voice and gentlest touch with insects and it warms my heart. I know that when he can empathize with a tiny thing like that then he can do the same with someone he meets in the world.

Here are 7 ways we show appreciation to bugs:
  1. We watch and observe. We have learned so much from watching bugs. Tunnel spiders running out to grab prey. A group of ants hauling a dead wasp many many times their size into a hole in a building. Velvet ants running to and fro. Ant lions building their funnel-like traps in the dirt. Ants building a hill one pebble at a time. We once kept a cocoon in a jar and then let the moth that hatched fly away.
  2. We discuss their significance and how each one fits into the cycle of life on our Earth. What's their purpose? Why did God create them? Does their purpose help us somehow?
  3. We research and identify them, a fabulous science/environment/biology exercise. 
  4. We save them when they are in our house. No creature is too small for compassion.
  5. We empathize. How would we feel if someone was cruel to us? Sure they don't have brains like us, but they sure do run or fly fast when something large is near. They shouldn't be minimized just because they're less complicated.
  6. We de-mystify. Wasps are scary but are they really roaming around just waiting for a chance to sting us? No. Take precautions and be careful, but don't assign evil intention to them.
  7. We have respect always even for the dangerous ones. We know that brown recluse spiders and wasps have a purpose in our world and are necessary. If they are in our space, we have no choice but to get rid of them. But we do not have to hate them. 
I hope this is at least some food for thought.

This cool guy lives at my brother's farm. He's a garden spider and harmless.
I think these funnel webs are so pretty with raindrops on them. They're made by grass spiders. We've watched spiders scamper out to get prey.
What must rain feel like pelting a guy like this?
Ooh, he looks like a leaf! How cool is that!
Here are those ants hauling the dead wasp up a wall. Look how many it takes!
Awww, he trusted me! Well, maybe not trust, but at the very least I did not seem threatening at that moment.





38 comments:

  1. Let me honest, this post kind-of convicted me. I'm not a ruthless bug killer when we are outside, but in the house I can't stand the things. They creep me out. About the only way I can deal with them is with a shoe and the someone else disposes of them. My daughter isn't scared of them, and she will do catch and release with some of them in the house. I need to make an effort to (have her) do it more often though. Outside I don't kill them - we let them be and observe. I'm going to have to re-read your 7 points a few more times to make sure they are stuck in my head the next time I see a spider or cricket moving across the living room.

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    1. Somehow it just lodged in my mind that they are beautiful because they are made by the same hand that made us, here for a purpose. This basic deep down idea that a living thing is precious. I know not everyone see it that way, but I think it can be a powerful tool :) Thanks so much for your words.

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  2. My oldest son would love this. He is very much into bugs, always has been since he was a tiny guy, and my youngest is following in his big brother's footsteps. We appreciate them, and they don't bother me- unless it's a bee. I'm allergic, and terrified of them, lol.

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    1. Well goodness an allergy would make a world of difference! Then it becomes a matter of protection! I just have seen kids randomly squash bugs, even outside, and one kid trying to bury them. Ugh. I hate to see that.

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  3. My approach is to catch them and let them go, even wasps as they will only sting if threatened. I think your approach is very interesting and a lovely change. Go for it.

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    1. Thanks so much, Heather. Now, I have not had the guts to do that with wasps. I used to have quite a fear of them but when I grew a garden, my appreciation for them changed.

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  4. I love this idea. I agree it's a great way to teach kindness to our children. My youngest is fascinated by bugs and well all animals. It never fails to amaze me how gentle she can be.

    I think if this was something more children were taught our world wouldn't be the dark place it is now.

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    1. That gentleness is so amazing, especially when I've seen other kids just squash them simply because they can and have the power. I tell Brady, with that power comes a lot of responsibility even with little things!

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  5. This is a great idea that I never thought of before! Although, if my husband is anywhere near, no matter how kind he is feeling, a spider will still be smooshed instantly.

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    1. It's funny, my husband has started saving bugs too! I can't believe it, I never thought he would, but he does now :)

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  6. What a neat idea, but I don't know if I could be so nice with bugs in my house.

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    1. LOL, I can understand that. I have loved bugs since I was a kid and I attribute that to my mom and the appreciation she showed. So they don't creep me out even a little bit unless they are harmful in some way.

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  7. If it's in the house, it dies. That's the motto for bugs around here, but I think it's great you're teaching compassion and understanding for the littlest creatures.

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    1. LOL, I know I'm kind of different in my love of the creepy crawlers (snakes and bats too) but I will just keep sharing it :)

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  8. I had not seen that news story, how horribly sad. I'm so glad they got the perpetrators. Bugs---um. Not my cup of tea but I'm okay with letting them go about their merry little lives OUTSIDE. :)

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    1. I don't get the people in Wichita. That is such a deep down sad thing I have no comprehension of it. LOL, I know a lot of people feel WAY different than me about bugs. But I will just keep plugging away with my Bug Advocacy. I think they are so cute and useful in their way, bats and snakes too, LOL.

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  9. I often think about this actually...I really should try to catch them and put them outside if I see them in the house....

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    1. Well, that's cool! I just can't bring myself to do anything else. We get a lot of ladybugs and what they call "democrats" around here, a gray and red bug. Sometimes crickets and black jumper spiders.

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  10. I'm with the others in that I tell my kids that if they stay in their domain, they are safe. The moment they enter my domain (my house) they are dead! And my girls say I'm mean because I hate the rabbits that eat my garden!

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    1. Oh I've had to deal with the rabbit thing. So far I haven't gotten mad at them. I just know I need to take steps to keep them from getting in. I can't even kill the squash bugs that attacked my squash plants. I'll just have to co-plant things that repel them. Now, come the apocalypse, I'd do what I had to grow and hunt food of course!

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  11. So glad you are teaching this - starting small and with bigger consequences I am sure! I am bad at killing ants they irritate me, but you have given me food for thought.

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    1. LOL, thanks Heather. I am glad it was food for thought. Brady was messing with an ant hill and I told him to stop and his great-aunt (my husband's aunt) said, "Why?" I said, well, they are God's creatures too and there is no good reason to mess their house up!

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  12. I loved this post! We've tried to raise our son in the same way and it's really neat to watch him be caring, compassionate and even empathetic with others...even spiders :)

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    1. Thanks so much Terra! I feel just the same watching Brady.

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  13. This is a great idea. I'm the typical "girly girl," and can't stand the thought of bugs. Lol. God gave me two boys, so I knew it was a matter of time before I had to start liking "bugs." Lol!

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    1. Oh my, yes boys do tend to seek out the little critters - frogs too probably!

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  14. I have to say you are a good mom for having a boy! I will have to take lessons from you. Thanks for sharing this! I can learn to be kinder to insects.

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    1. LOL, yes, I think God knew what He was doing when He gave me a boy. I grew up with all brothers, so that's probably why. Thanks Jill.

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  15. I love this! We are a curious family and my guy is all about learning how things work. I wonder if I can make more of a point in using some of our lessons to include empathy language and discussions. Wouldn't that be a great teaching moment?!?!

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    1. Hi Samantha! Thanks so much for your comment. We are very curious too about EVERYTHING! And also how things work together, humans, animals, insects, the environment. That sounds like a fabulous teaching moment to me :)

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  16. I totally agree. When a bug is outside, we just watch it. But we have trained my son that when he sees a spider in the house (or even outside) to NEVER touch it and come get us right away. We get black widows here and we kill them on the spot. It has given him a little bit of a weird idea about bugs because when he sees one outside, now he wants us to kill it! Ugh. Oh well! But I totally agree with you. I always thought boys that would tear the legs off daddy longlegs spiders were horrible little people!

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    1. Oh geez, I do the same with black widows. We just can't have them in the house, too dangerous. It's hard to teach them this when they are little. And Brady even tried squashing an ant once and then he felt bad about it! He even said a prayer. I was amazed at how much he had been listening to what I said. He even tries to stop other kids.

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  17. Oh my! I have arachnophobia, so those pictures of spiders completely freaked me out. I hope I didn't miss too much after those pictures because I closed my eyes and scrolled down. My husband is such a bug person and touches anything he can. If I find anything in the house within my reach, it's gone...as in dead. But teaching compassion (outside) is a great idea. Except for anything with a stinger. I'm allergic so I run squealing. My husband can teach them about those.

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    1. Oh no! Sorry about the picture deal! The first two were the only spider ones. And an allergy brings it to a whole new level. Then it is about protection.

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  18. We have a rule around our house. We will leave them alone outside but when they are in our space then I can't promise what happens to them then. I do love to watch a spider on their nest outside. I will even try to capture photos of them if possible.

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    1. LOL, it seems a lot of people have that rule :) I know I'm kind of odd, especially as a girl, to love bugs as much as I do. But Brady seems to appreciate it, LOL. I don't necessarily want to share space with them (although right now if we find 'democrats', these red and gray bugs, inside we let them stay back by the potted plants because it is SO cold out there, they'd die!) but I just cannot kill them if they aren't bad for me.

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  19. Nice lessons! Although I freak out when I see a spider. I do not like spiders.

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    1. Thank you! I know a lot of people don't like spiders, but I always have. They are really fascinating if you study them and if you know which are the dangerous ones and which not. I know I'm a bit weird though!

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